Rendan (Scifi Alien Dragon Romance) (Dragons of Preor Book 4) Page 16

  Healer Butler again. Great.

  Rendan grunted and then lowered his attention to Carla. “May he?”

  She frowned. Was that a thing? Were single Preor males supposed to get permission from mates before speaking to a female? The Knowing, still ever-present, jumped forward—the speed making her dizzy for a moment. No, it wasn’t a common practice unless the male had harmed the female in question. But Chashan hadn’t…

  “Carla?” Rendan’s voice brought her away from the flowing information from the Knowing and back to the present.

  “Uh, sure.”

  The healing master didn’t step any closer. He merely lowered his gaze to the ground and placed his fist over his chest. Then… then he did something reserved for the emperor. He lowered to a single knee.

  Preor warriors didn’t… It was a symbol of dedication, an honor reserved for a member of the Haclu line. Not a human nobody who happened to be mated to the offense master of the third fleet. She was nothing to this male. A good nurse, sure, but nothing more.

  Carla wiggled in Rendan’s embrace and he frowned as he carefully lowered her to her feet. She swayed for a moment, using her mate as a solid surface to keep her upright. Then she went to the still kneeling male.

  She stopped just in front of the warrior, reaching out and resting a hand on his bowed shoulders. “Chashan, you shouldn’t—“

  “I have dishonored a cherished female. I have brought dishonor on the house sen Vorde and joi Treq.” His relatives and his mate. Carla shook his head, but he still wasn’t looking at her. “I offer my life—“

  She gave him a gentle squeeze. “Hush. I don’t want your life.”

  “Healer—“

  “I mean it. I’ll keep interrupting until you listen.” She forced a lightness to her tone even as tears filled her eyes.

  Had he hurt her emotionally and physically by not fully healing her? Yes. But… but she could understand-ish. Their people had come to Earth with hope and he believed Rendan’s lies—seeing her as a heartless human in their midst. She didn’t like his actions, but she understood them.

  “Chashan.” She nudged his chin, encouraging him to lift his attention to her. “I don’t want your life or anything else. Say you’re sorry. Promise never to jump to conclusions again, and make sure you talk to both parties before you make a decision.” She forced a smile to her lips. “Think of it as running tests. You wouldn’t toss a diagnosis at someone without checking the ryaapir unit first right?”

  Chashan frowned. “I would immediately place the patient in the ryaapir unit and its accuracy—“

  She rolled her eyes. Preor males. “Nevermind. Just promise to save your asshole behavior until you’re one-hundred percent sure you’re right.”

  “I still offer—“

  “Say life and I’ll hit you.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “It is a warrior’s right—“

  “Rendan,” she glanced over her shoulder. “I’m gonna hit him and I’ll probably break my hand. Do you think you could go ahead and fire up one of those ryaapir—“

  Chashan grunted. “Do not strike me. I will concede and offer apologies instead.”

  “Good.” Her smile returned. “I wasn’t looking forward to the pain. I figure I’ve had enough to last a lifetime.”

  Carla swayed in place, cursing the dizziness that rolled over her for a moment. She was healed but still a little weak. Sure, the ryaapir platform ensured she was hydrated and provided sufficient nutrients, but her body was craving something the unit didn’t—wouldn’t—give her.

  Coffee. Man, she hated caffeine withdrawal.

  Her mate was suddenly there, strong arms wrapping around her, and she found herself lifted into his embrace once more. “You must rest. You were near to death only—“

  She stroked his chest with soft, gentle brushes of her fingertips. “I’m fine. I’m alive. I’m here.”

  She just needed coffee. Unfortunately, she knew it was discouraged when recovering from trauma. But that was for human patients and human methods of healing. She wondered if the same applied for—

  The Knowing assured her the rules spread across races. Dammit.

  “And I’m ready to go home.” Her home, their home, a home. Just somewhere outside of medical. She’d spent too much time in the space as a patient.

  Rendan merely grunted and jerked his head at Chashan in a short nod. She sensed a new tension between them, a taut string that she figured would snap at some point. She just hoped they were near medical when it happened.

  Her mate turned toward the door, and Carla spied the other occupant in medical—the pregnant human woman who’d collapsed just before Ballakin kidnapped her. She’d come to the choosing station with the hope of finding a mate and Carla thought it might be Ballakin. They’d spied each other and then shortly after… yeah. The woman hadn’t woken since Ballakin’s death and she worried for the soon-to-be mother.

  She also worried about the male who hadn’t left her side since he’d returned from the battle with Ballakin—Zadri.

  Yes, those thoughts plagued her, but she needed to focus on her own life—at least for a little while. “Take me home, Rendan.”

  He stiffened when she said his name instead of shaa kouvi, but they needed to talk before she let herself fall into that trap once again.

  “As you wish, Carla.” He strode from medical, navigating the twisting hallways of Preor Tower before stepping onto the empty elevator.

  The silence enveloped them like an uncomfortable cloud. It was the first time they’d been alone together since she’d discovered his betrayal, and suddenly she wasn’t sure how to act around him. He was still her mate, but he’d hurt her so badly. He’d taken her heart and then stomped on it with both feet, his lies tearing into her soul.

  It was what she got for trusting so quickly. It wasn’t even the shattering of her trust that angered her most. It was that she hadn’t tried to protect her heart from him. And then he’d broken it so easily.

  Before she was ready, they arrived at her condo door, Rendan bending slightly so she could press her thumb to the identipad. Then the door slid open. Then they were in her condo. Then they were alone.

  Rendan carefully lowered her to one of the soft couches, the cushions welcoming her. The moment he released her, he went to a nearby chair, the special design meant to allow for a Preor’s wings’ freedom. It was more like a human stool, backless but with a soft layer on the seat.

  He placed it in front of her, as close to the couch as he could get, and then his eyes locked on hers. Intent. Focused. Pained.

  Yes, pained. That was the only way to describe the look in his face—his eyes.

  “Carla,” he rasped and then reached for her hands. He cradled them in his much larger palms, his thumb brushing the backs slowly—gently. “I must speak and I beg you to listen to my words. I have betrayed you. I have dishonored our mating. I have given you every reason to shun me from your life, but I beg you. Allow me to explain before you make your choice.”

  Rendan held his breath, begging the skies that she would grant him time to plead with her. He’d been so sure of himself when he went to speak with Chashan, and now he hated himself for his actions—his lies.

  Carla remained silent for a moment before she finally said the word he longed to hear. “Yes.”

  He released the air in his lungs in a quick whoosh and then sucked in another just as quickly. He’d asked for the chance to explain and now he would have to force himself to face the past—and the pain he’d experienced so long ago.

  “I would first apologize for my actions.” It was difficult for a warrior to admit wrongdoing, but he would always humble himself before his mate. He did not imagine this was the last time he would apologize in the coming years. “It was wrong to request the injection from Chashan without your knowledge. I have seen your passion and joy when speaking of children and attending bearing females. To take that from you…” shame washed over him. “I also hurt you grievously wit
h my lie to the healing master.” He swallowed hard, preparing himself for the promise to come—and what it would mean to them both. “I swear on my life, on the lives of our future dragonlets, that I will never do such a thing again.”

  Carla frowned and shook her head. “You don’t want dragonlets. You said—“

  “I said many things—nearly all stoo-pid.” He gently squeezed her hands. “I would explain.”

  Her frown remained, but she nodded, and he stiffened his spine before letting the memories surge forward. He’d pushed them away for so long, they were sluggish to come to the forefront of his mind, but he was determined. He could not gain his mate’s forgiveness if she did not understand.

  Rendan allowed the agony of those first days from the past wash over him, the physical pain from his past joining the emotional misery he embraced at that moment. “I once had a dam and sire.” He flashed a rueful grin. “Though most dragonlets have a dam and sire. I mean to say, they once lived. We were a happy fam-ill-ee. My sire was the primary offense warrior for all of Preor.”

  He remembered the pride he’d felt at having such an important sire. His sire spoke with Emperor Haclu regularly. His sire was chosen for many important duties. His sire was the strongest, smartest warrior of…

  He pushed away that thought. Not ready to face that moment in the past.

  “My dam was one of the most honored heart masters in our region. She was…” His eyes burned, but they were not tears. Warriors did not cry. His sire would—Do nothing because the male was long dead.

  “She was beautiful and kind,” he rasped. “She would always go where needed most.” He pulled one hand from Carla’s gentle grasp and ghosted his fingers over his left cheek. “She would kiss me. Here.” He could practically feel her lips on him at that moment. “And then she would go where called.”

  Rendan’s gut clenched, hating what came next. “My sire was forced to the border. The great conflict was long ended, but fights were common. The Haclu and Preor offense master wished a report on the activity. My sire was long trusted.” His dam had given her mate a gentle kiss as she often granted Rendan and then his sire took flight. “It was not long before my dam was asked to join him.”

  “Rendan,” she whispered and a tear escaped her eye. He cupped her cheek, brushing it aside.

  “Hush, shaa—“ he snapped off the word and refocused on the past. “It has been many years. The pain remains, but not as sharply as it once was.” He took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I refused to allow my dam to travel with another. If the border was safe for my dam, it was safe for me. Plus, she would require protection. No other could be more dedicated to a female than her own offspring.”

  At least, those were the words that’d convinced her to grant him his wish. “The flight from our region to the border was uneventful, but the nearer we drew, the larger my unease grew.” He recalled the itching between his wings that had nothing to do with his dam’s clothing. The ripple of his scales and tingling in his claws. “We were attacked just inside the border. A mere mose—Earth mile—from my sire.”

  “The warriors came up from the ground. They blinded me with flames and overwhelmed my senses with their roars.” He recalled the blood, his dam’s screams. “I could not fly against trained warriors.”

  Another of her tears escaped and he brushed it away as well.

  “My sire arrived as I fell,” he whispered, emotion clogging his throat. “My dam could not be saved.”

  Carla pulled his hand away and the air in his lungs left him in a silent rush. She would abandon him because he’d failed his own dam so grievously, and he mourned the loss of his mate.

  No. That was not correct. She eased closer to him, rising and then sitting on his knee.

  “It wasn’t your fault.” Her words soothed some of the churning emotions, but he did not deserve her comfort.

  “I brought her to—“

  “Did you take the same path as any other warrior would have?”

  “Yes.” He nodded.

  “Then who’s to say they wouldn’t have been overwhelmed, too?”

  Rendan’s sire, just before he’d taken his final flight. A hatchling with his dam’s shell on his scales should not— His sire bared his teeth with a snarl. You are the cause of her death.

  His sire had merely shaken his head then, those words tearing through Rendan like a wild katoth.

  Those had been his sire’s last words.

  “She went to the skies in his arms. Her hand clutching mine. She told me I would always be in her heart while she flew the skies…” His eyes burned and he accepted the tears, accepted the relief that came with releasing them.

  Carla sifted her fingers through his hair and he took solace in the gentle, rhythmic strokes. When she cupped the back of his head and encouraged him to rest his cheek on her shoulder, he gratefully conceded. He needed her touch, her scent.

  The moisture from his eyes soaked his mate’s shirt, but he could not stop the unending flow. “She asked him to love me as he had loved her. My sire was not a soft man, but she begged him to give me the care of a sire—not the gruff old scale attitude of a military male.”

  Rendan recalled his dam’s earnest voice and his sire’s quick agreement.

  “He did not,” he whispered. “He flew her to our aerie and prepared her to be sealed within the walls of our family’s,” he sought the word. “Crypt. And then he returned to the border. We did not speak. He did not acknowledge my presence. He…” Rendan hated the rejection and betrayal that still filled his memories. “I challenged him. I threw my dam’s words at him. He took his final flight the next day.”

  Rendan’s sire had flown to the very edges of the Preor atmosphere and then taken the flight a wing-beat further—into space.

  “I am the reason my dam died, but more, I was left to grow alone. Mates find life without their other half impossible—unless a dragonlet exists between them. But my sire proved that even that was not enough.” He lifted his head and met Carla’s stare, his emotions pushing words past his lips. “You hold my heart, shaa kouva, but I did not believe I could ever risk leaving a dragonlet should your life be taken. Young deserve more. They deserve better. I could not bring a dragonlet into the world only to leave—“

  As he was once left.

  “Oh, Rendan… shaa kouvi.” She brushed her lips across his.

  His heart soared with the endearment and soft kiss, but he did not let hope grow too quickly.

  “You are not your father.” She stroked his shoulders, palms gliding up his neck until she cupped his jaw. “If something happened to me—“

  He squeezed her tightly, panic and anger suffusing him in a blinding rush. “You will not die.”

  She gave him a small smile. “Not on purpose. What I’m saying is, if we have children, neither of us would leave them. No matter what happened, we’d always be there. We wouldn’t let grief hurt someone so precious.”

  “You cannot know—“

  “I can. Look at how hard you fought to get me back. Look at what you’ve gone through. You say I have your heart and you almost killed yourself to rescue me. I know that if we had dragonlets, they would own you just as completely.”

  “How do you know this?” He ached to believe her, but he found himself doubting her words.

  “Because I wouldn’t leave our children if something happened to you. We have a genetic connection, Rendan. The Knowing manifested between us. We’re different, but at our core, we’re very much the same. You had a horrible father—we both did—but we aren’t them. We’re stronger because of our pasts.”

  He wanted to accept her words at truth with everything in his body. “Shaa kouva…”

  “If you can’t trust our connection, then simply trust me.”

  Effortless words not easily accepted.

  Yet he knew she was correct. He was not his sire and Carla was the strongest female he’d ever known. If the worst happened… their dragonlet would not be alone.

&
nbsp; “I… Shaa kouva… How can you ever forgive me?”

  “That’s what love is, Rendan. It’s devotion, cherishing, forgiveness, and acceptance. Life—mating—isn’t perfect. It takes work and compromise. We’ll figure this out together.”

  “Together.” Her words were more than he’d ever hoped. “I do wish to have offspring with you, shaa kouva.”

  Her eyes softened, her smile small. “And I want them with you, but I also don’t want to be on the front lines of a conflict. I don’t want our dragonlets there.”

  “We will discover a compromise, shaa kouva.”

  He would not tolerate any less.

  17

  Who knew the word compromise could be sexy? No one. Except maybe Carla. Then again, it could be the feel of Rendan’s bulging muscles flush with her body and that bit of extra hardness beneath her ass. His length thickened and grew firm between them, and her body immediately responded, heating with his growing arousal.

  Rendan caressed her, his large hands sliding over her clothed body and his warmth sinking through the thin fabric. Her nerves sparked to life, goose bumps rising in his wake, and she relaxed into his sensual attentions. She leaned forward, her chest pressed to his, and her nipples hardened with the new pressure. They practically begged to be licked, nibbled, or sucked. Something. Anything.

  “Rendan,” she whispered his name, not sure what she asked for.

  No, that was a lie, she did. She wanted more of him, all of him. She ached to be surrounded by his wings and wrapped up in his body, enveloped and… loved by her mate.

  “Shaa kouva,” he murmured in response and lowered his head. She tipped hers back, lips slightly parted, and he brushed his mouth across hers.

  Once. Twice. And then he lapped at her mouth before he nibbled the plump lower lip. He bit, a slight sting accompanying the nip, and then laved the ache away.

  She whimpered, enjoying that bite of pain and the sensual attentions that followed. She wiggled her hips, pressing her thighs together, attempting to alleviate some of the ache that grew with each passing second.